Today more than ever, looking good is just not good enough when it comes to making connections and succeeding in life and business. While the old saying, “You never have a second chance to make a good first impression” remains a truth in this fast-paced and visual world we live in, lasting impressions are created by other elements we often don’t get training on. Charisma, style, magnetism, whatever you call it – is that invisible sense you get when you meet someone you simply jive with – a seemingly instant rapport! Viola! Wow! What is it? What is it about these people who make us feel comfortable and glad when we are around them? Is it just how they look? Is it something they say or do? Or is it something we get or feel when we are around them?

Having spent almost 20 years in the image industry training professionals and teams, my clients come to learn that our work together extends well beyond the physical. Yes, a sharp appearance in business opens doors but an energetic impression is what gets you invitations to come in and chat. This connectivity that you establish or the lack thereof, is what makes or breaks your success out there. It is the same for a team of employees. Front-line staff needs that same visual appeal but it is that magic that happens in the initial encounter or subsequent guest experience that is potent and most significant. This is much more than charm, luck, or a gimmick that gets folks coming your way. This quality is something we can cultivate and use personally and professionally. Where does one begin to develop this connectivity and ability to attract the right people, things and opportunities?

Mastering the basics of your professional presence is essential. Having the appropriate look, one that is well suited for your personal style and body, one that is in sync with your work or the occasion is a definite first step. Whether you like the way your clothing fits or find yourself stuck in a rut, your appearance and grooming is something you can instantly upgrade simply by choosing to do so. If you are not sure where to begin, there are image professionals out there who can help. They have a knack for helping people define their style and can pull together a desired look. The power behind this first step is in your intentions – how purposeful you are in managing the impression you leave with others is key. Opinions of others however are not within your control but the preparation is. The old saying that luck happens when preparation meets opportunity is so true. The gem, often missed here however, is not so much about the resulting impact you will have on others by making those enhancements, it is in the way it makes you feel about yourself. Know that a complete makeover may not be in order here. Instead a conscious shift in thinking and actions can be subtle and yet powerful. Upgrades in your wardrobe, hygiene or grooming such as replacing worn out undergarments, whitening your teeth or changing the part in your hair can make all the difference in the way you carry yourself and feel about yourself. The act of making these changes a priority and choosing to step up in a small way can transform you and your energy. People may not know what is different about you, but will sense something new or fresh. It’s an attitude you wear. You show up differently, perhaps with pep in your walk, a sparkle in your eye, a pleasant disposition or a lightness about you that is delightful. This first step is cosmetic and fortunately something that can be bought and/or acquired through instruction and practice. Whether working alone or within a team, this approach of enhancing yourself from the outside-in, raises your connectivity and can set the stage for a strong company and personal brand. It begins with the vision you hold for yourself. If you need to begin seeing yourself differently, align yourself with a mentor, coach or consultant to help you see the brilliance in you.

The actions you take – your facial expressions, gestures, posture and eye contact can convey openness and caring. This creates instant rapport. As fundamental as this is, many overlook this basic practice of showing a genuine interest in others. It is all in the way you receive and respond to others. How do you listen? What do you look like when you listen to someone? A slight lean into someone shows a true desire to know more. Initiated eye contact acknowledges someone’s presence in a powerful and respectful way. A gentle hand over your heart when hearing something that deeply matters conveys sincere concern. Actions speak a thousand words. The fine art of body language is underestimated and under-utilized. Begin with the intention to really “get” who you are with. Embody your desire to know and help others and your body will follow suit. There is no better way to do this than to slow down. Connections are made when you are fully present in the moment. It is a shame when your “busy-ness” masks your real self and excuses you from being unavailable to engage or be engaged by others. Moving at the speed of life gets in the way and compromises the connections you make with others. So pause. Breathe. Get ample rest. Pace yourself. And in doing so, you can transform your mood, mental clarity and overall presence.

Today, people are more intuitive than ever before. A pretty face, fancy clothing or smooth talkin’ doesn’t go far. We can sense things about people that either attract or repel us. The quality of being comfortable in your own skin, for example, radiates warmth and allows others to be themselves. Where does this kind of confidence come from? This sort of understated poise is so powerful that it compels, inspires and intrigues others. Those, on the other hand, who project a blatant, “I-don’t-give-a-hoot-what-you-think-of-me” attitude and come to work with no regard for others, think they are coming from strength but rather are perceived as insecure and weak. Representing ourselves with respect for ourselves and others, exudes an essence of modesty and self-assuredness which makes us more approachable. It’s a mindset and it comes from the core – a zest. Christian Dior said it best, “Zest is the secret of all beauty. There is no beauty that is attractive without zest.”

The freedom we have to remake ourselves is one of life’s greatest gifts. As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world…as in being able to remake ourselves.” Grace, humility and authenticity grants us that chance to remake ourselves over and over, one choice at a time. As we upgrade ourselves and become more in-tuned to those we are with at every given moment, we become more approachable, credible and effective. Looking good is just not good enough to succeed in life today. A positive visual impression coupled with your ability to demonstrate a true interest in others can breed an energy about you that magically connects you with the right people, things and opportunities. Ultimately, your showing up adds value and you then possess that winning edge.